Ways to Deal with a Complicated Relationship

Relationships can get complicated for a lot of reasons, big and frivolous. Find out how to deal with a complicated relationship the right way.

A perfect relationship can turn into a complicated one in no time, and one lover can’t really predict it without listening to the confusions in the other partner’s mind.

But in almost all cases, a complicated relationship is a one sided love affair where one person wants to hold on while the other person just wants to let go or go with someone else.

So are you in a complicated relationship?

Understanding how to deal with a complicated relationship is simple if you can see the facts straight.

Why is your relationship complicated in the first place?

Learning to see the problem in clear light is the first step to solving any relationship issue.

Almost all the time, people in a complicated relationship fail to see the problem because they’re either not interested in acknowledging a problem or too clouded by emotions to accept reality.

Dealing with a complicated relationship

While a complicated relationship status on face book may seem like a cool thing to show off, a complicated relationship is heartbreaking and painful to experience when you’re alone and wondering about what really is happening in your love life.

Reasons for complicated relationships

Complicated relationships can emerge for a lot of reasons, all the way from falling out of love, falling in love with someone else, a bitter fight, a piercing remark, to confused affairs like bed buddies and relationships where one person is using the other.

If you’re on the receiving end of a complicated relationship, don’t try to solve the complication just yet.

Instead, try to find out what really bothers you and how you intend to deal with it. Complicated relationships almost always never have a happy ending, especially if the love is one sided. And if it’s a crush that you have in mind, that’s definitely not a complicated relationship. It’s just a crush. [Read: Understanding unrequited love]

Try to end the complication

No complication in a relationship is ever similar. So you’ll have to create your own ways to working with it and evening out the complication.

In a long term relationship, complications could arise when your partner falls in love with someone else or starts losing interest in you as a partner potential. On the other hand, in a shorter relationship, the novelty of the new relationship may have worn off or your date may just not want to go out with you anymore for several reasons. So what do you intend to do about it?

Speak to your partner

The easiest way to solve any complicated relationship is by talking about it with your partner. You may find it easier to live in denial and avoid confronting the situation. But even if you have to talk to your partner at the cost of losing a relationship or ending it altogether, do it. Talk to your partner.

In most complicated relationships, one partner may be too much of a coward to end a relationship and may find it easier to avoid a partner and hope they get the hint. While you may be blissfully trying to deal with your complicated relationship status, your partner may have moved on with someone else.

When you’re stuck in a complicated relationship, no matter how much it hurts to confront the complication, muster up the strength to face it. By doing that, you’d at least know where the relationship is heading instead of groping in the dark.

Complicated relationships that just can’t work

If you find yourself in a relationship where your partner constantly cheats on you or tells you they don’t want to be with you anymore but come back into your arms every now and then, or if your partner ignores you, it’s a definite sign that the relationship is heading nowhere. Your partner may just be trying to look for someone else to go out with and may be using you until they find someone else. Or they may be too much of a coward to break up with you.

If you can’t end a complication with conversations and assurances, perhaps both of you are just not meant to be.

Are you ready for a fresh start?

Sometimes, it’s easier to end a relationship and walk away especially if there are way too many complications involved. But if you really do love your partner and are willing to work on the relationship again, take a chance.

But you have to remember that complicated relationships almost always never work. When you’re the one stuck in the painful end of a complicated relationship, it only means that your partner is using you or is just too selfish to care about anyone but themselves.

Walk out of a complicated relationship if you’re unable to work the differences and sort the complication. It may hurt a while, but no matter how much it hurts, it can never hurt more than how you feel right now, during every single day of your complicated life. By ending it, you’d at least be able to remove the painful complication from your life.

Heartbreaks can always be healed with time, but complications only increase with time, remember that.

So do you still want to know how to deal with a complicated relationship? But you know what to do already, don’t you? No matter how unique your complication is, there’s only one way to sort it all out. Confront it.

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How to Get Over Unrequited Love

Of all the kinds of love that you can experience in life, unrequited love can turn out to be the worst kind. Find out how to get over unrequited love.

Click here to read the introduction on what is unrequited love.

Before you read about how to get over unrequited love, you have to understand what unrequited love really is and how it starts in the first place.

You may think you’re experiencing unrequited love, but are you really?

In the introduction, you've read about how unrequited love isn't your fault alone.

Almost always, you get sucked into unrequited love because the person you’re in love with either wants to use you or likes the attention.

But if you do understand that you’re suffering every day from a case of unrequited love, you need to make up your mind to get a grip on your own life and bring the happiness back into it.

How to get over unrequited love

You may want to get over unrequited love, but you have to remember that it’s a slow healing process that needs effort and determination.

Here are nine steps that you need to follow, and before long, you’d be able to tear yourself away from the web of unrequited love and regain your sanity.

Don’t stay around your crush

It doesn't matter if your crush is using you for sex or flirting with you because they want to have a good time at your expense, learn to stay away from them. You can’t really let yourself fall into the clutches of unrequited love and blame someone else for it.

You've fallen in love with someone who wants to use you, and it’s up to you to walk away from it.

Now it’s definitely not easy, especially if you and your crush work in attached cubicles, or share the same office or campus. But as the famed adage goes, where there is a will, there is a way.

Don’t have long conversations

Sometimes, you may bump into your crush or find yourself in a circumstance where you’re obligated to sit together for a while. Talk to your crush in a friendly way, but never let the flirting games take control. It can feel so good when your crush lingers their palm on you or talks about how good you look in that dress.

Steer the conversation away from anything flirty or romantic. Remind yourself that this person is only toying with you and trying to make you fall more in love, just to have a good time. If your crush persists, you can open up and tell them the truth subtly.

“You know, I thought there can be nothing more than friends between us. So I don’t think it would be appropriate for you to be speaking this way with me… it’s all just very confusing, and I don’t think it’s right.”

Saying something like this line is subtle, it’s got a hint of a request and yet, it’s firm. Your crush may take offence, but rest assured, you’d feel like the most powerful person in the world at that moment!

Have more self respect

People who find themselves experiencing the pangs of unrequited love absolutely have no self respect. It’s true and you just have to accept it.

It hurts, but acknowledging it will help give you the strength to walk away. If you really did love and respect yourself, would you be throwing yourself at the feet of someone who doesn't even treat you right?

Unrequited love can suck the confidence and happiness out of your life, but it takes little steps to bring it all back. Start believing in yourself and understand your real worth, and realize the fact that you’re a wonderful person who deserves someone a lot better

Realize how stupid you've been

When you’re in love, it’s alright to run errands and make a fool of yourself for your lover. But that’s completely unacceptable if you’re drowning in unrequited love. Your crush may have learnt to use you for their benefit all this while, but now it’s time to put your foot down. Don’t go out of your way to help your crush.

In fact, don’t even bother trying to help your crush in any way. Helping a crush in need may make your day, but it also makes you an idiot who doesn't see the big picture where your crush is using you, ridiculing you, and laughing at you, behind your back.

Understand that there’s no happy ending here

Reading about how stupid and weak you've been may hurt you, but it’ll help you realize how wrong you've been to fall in love and stay in love with someone who will never ever love you back.

Your crush may smile at you and wink at you today, but if you want to know how to get over unrequited love, you need to remind yourself of the big picture. There is no happy ending in this kind of a one sided relationship. Your crush will always use you, and you’ll always stay used and loveless. As exciting as a smile may seem today, you have to remember that you’ll never really experience happiness as long as you’re sinking in unrequited love.

Don’t let your crush know you’re hurting

In a relationship, the one who loves less controls the emotions in the relationship. In unrequited love, you’re madly and hopelessly in love. And your crush couldn't care less about you. Can you even guess who’s controlling this relationship?

When you try to get out of unrequited love, your crush may try harder to make you fall more in love. Your crush may sweet talk you, cuddle you or even ask you out in jest, but don’t fall for it. And never ever let your crush know that you’re hurting inside. By doing that, you’re letting your crush know that you’re still madly in love with them. And your crush would try to find all ways to try and use you up and pin you down in unrequited love.

Meet more people and make new friends

If you want to get your mind off your crush, you need to learn to keep yourself occupied. Meet new friends or reconnect with old happy friends that you know can cheer you up. The less you think about your crush, the stronger you’d feel. Don’t lock yourself up at home in isolation. Go out with friends, shop a while or rent a few good movies, not the rom-coms, and have a good time all the time. It’ll help you move on and help you realize that you don’t need this person in your life to experience happiness.

Create new happy experiences

To understand how to get over unrequited love, you need to fill your life with new, exciting experiences. Wake up listening to your favorite song, join a gym, start a few hobbies or take a little vacation with friends. When you’re in unrequited love, all your memories would revolve around just one person. Create new happy memories and replace all the sadness in your life with happy thoughts, one step at a time.

Meet new dating potentials all the time

There’s no better way to get over a crush than by falling in love all over again. Open your dating diary and go out. Have fun, ask your friends to fix you on dates, or learn to wink at a hottie at a club. You don’t have to look for something serious immediately. You just need to understand the fact that there are so many people out there who would love to spend time with you. Why on earth would you want to be bottled up in unrequited love with someone who doesn't even care about you when you can step out into a happy world where you’re loved, respected and most importantly, desired by so many people?

Go on out there with a mad, mad hope of finding happiness. And soon enough, you’ll know how to get over unrequited love and fill your life with happiness and love. And one day in the near future, you can look back at your old life and realize how pathetic you really were, once upon a long time ago!

Use these simple steps to understand how to get over unrequited love. It’s easy, and definitely doable. Just as long as you realize that you deserve a better life that’s full of love and happiness.

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10 Eye Contact Flirting Moves That Work

Want to know the perfect way to catch someone’s attention and make them interested in you? Use these eye contact flirting moves that definitely work.

Eye contact flirting is the easiest and safest way to get the message across and get a sign back in no time.

It’s simple, instinctive and something that all of us indulge in.

Eye contact flirting is exciting, no matter where you are.

It doesn't matter if you like someone or not.

If someone stares at you now and then, it instantly catches your attention and rouses your interest.

You could stare at someone and exchange a few stolen glances.

Or you could try to strike up a conversation.

Flirting by eye contact is safe, fun and an easy way to find out if someone is interested in knowing you better, without the pressure of making the first move.

The happy side of eye contact flirting

Let’s face it, eye contact flirting is harmless.

You could exchange a glance on the street or while having coffee at a restaurant.

As long as it’s mutual, it’s a fun and flirty experience that can bring a smile at the end of the day. [Read: Why some guys stare even when the girl isn't interested]

Who doesn’t love a few stolen glances now and then, even if you don’t intend to date that person?

The best part of eye contact flirting is the fact that it can help you gauge someone’s interest in you without even asking them out. And secondly, you can let someone know you’re interested in them and warm them up to a first date without even saying ‘hello’.

10 eye contact flirting moves to get someone interested in you

What do you do when you see someone you like at a coffee shop or at a party? If you’re not sure what to do, well, eye contact flirting may be the best thing in the world to help you get their attention and make an impression in no time.

Just use these 10 simple eye contact flirting tips and you’ll be able to get the right message across. [Read: Reasons why guys are so crazy about breasts]

#1 Casually stare now and then. See someone you like? Casually stare at the person now and then. Soon enough, the one you like will notice you back.

#2 Exchange a fleeting glimpse. Don’t be hasty or you’ll end up looking like an annoying stalker. When the person you like catches you staring and stares back at you with curiosity, lock eyes for a second and look away immediately.

#3 Repeat the glances. Look at the person you like again. Stare at him or her, but look away immediately as soon they look back at you. Don’t linger and stare back for more than a second just yet.

#4 Let them know what’s on your mind. At first, the person you like may assume it’s a passing glance. But as they catch you sneaking a few glances now and then, they’d understand that you’re interested in them. Don’t stare for more than a second because you’ll kill the excitement. Instead, build the excitement.

#5 Build the excitement. Now that you've got the one you like looking back at you now and then to see if you’re still staring, it’s time to build the excitement. Stop staring for a couple of minutes. Wait for them to stare at you now and then.

The person you like will wonder why you aren't staring anymore and may start to stare at you more often, to check if you’re still staring. By doing this, you’re actually making the one you like as interested as you are in building the staring game.

#6 Reverse the eye contact flirting. Notice the one you like from the corner of your eye. Don’t stare directly, but keep an eye on the person you like. Wait for that person to look at you. And just as the one you like looks at you, stare back at that person. By doing that, you’re now discreetly making it appear like they’re the one interested in looking at you, and not the other way around.

#7 Stare for a longer duration. You've been exchanging fleeting glances until now, but now that you've got the one you like excitedly waiting for you to stare back, lock eyes for more than a second before looking away. [Read: 10 tips to look sexy without trying]

#8 Smile and blush. Talk to your friends or appear busy, and stare for a second or two. And each time, look away smiling or blushing in an obvious manner. Don’t smile while staring just yet. Always smile only while looking away.

#9 Watch their response. Is this person looking at you as often as you’re looking at them? If they are, it’s working and you’re on your way to a fun evening. If the one you like isn't reciprocating your glances no matter what you do, they’re not interested, so give up and move on. You can’t win all your eye contact flirting games.

#10 Smile while staring. Now that you’re certain that the one you like is equally interested in staring at you and exchanging stolen glances, it’s time to take the plunge. During one of your longer glances, look straight into their eyes and stretch a little smile. There’s no turning back here. If the person smiles back, you've struck jackpot. If the one you’re staring at looks shocked or looks away hastily, they just need a little more time to warm up.

If the smile’s worked in your favor, here’s what you need to do. If you’re the girl, give the guy an opportunity to talk to you. If you’re the guy, what are you waiting for, make a move!

Read how to get someone’s attention in any circumstance to understand how to make the next move after finishing the ten steps in the eye contact flirting game.

Eye contact flirting when you’re talking

If you already know the person and want them to know you like them, stare deeply into their eyes when you’re having a conversation. Think about how much you like them, and your eyes will glaze over and let them know exactly what’s on your mind. And don’t forget to smile, it sends the right message across. [Read: 20 signs of attraction in a conversation]

Eye contact flirting for flirty stares

If you’re partying or just want someone to know you’re interested in some flirty fun, follow the same 10 steps as mentioned above, but instead of just staring for a few seconds into their eyes, stare into their eyes and look them up and down once with an appreciative smile. It lets them know you’re checking them out and find them attractive.

Eye contact tips for girls

# Guys find it easier to approach a girl who’s willing to exchange a flirty stare. If you like someone, stare back and build the eye contact. He’ll approach you more easily.

# Acknowledge his stare and drop a few signs to get him to talk to you. If you’re taking a trip to the ladies room alone, look towards the ladies room when he’s looking at you, look back at him, smile and get up. Walk slowly and look at him one more time as you walk by.

Eye contact tips for men

# Don’t stare at a girl for too long. It’s scary.

# Be very subtle with your stares or you’d end up looking perverted. Eye contact flirting is a slow and exciting game that builds the momentum with time. If you overdo it or stare for too long, you’ll end up looking desperate.

Eye contact flirting can be fun and extremely exciting if you indulge in it the right way. Overdo it or under do it and you may end up losing the connection. Just follow these 10 steps and you definitely won’t go wrong.

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How to Look Good While Trying to Get Attention

Ever caught someone’s eye when you’re out at a cafe or somewhere else? Find out how to look good while trying to get attention with these 10 tips.

Almost all the time, we come across someone that we like.

It could be in a restaurant, a cafe, at a conference or even in college.

But as much as catching someone’s eye matters, a lot depends on what you do next too.

Have you ever caught someone’s eye only to see that they've lost interest in you after a while?

That cutie from across the table may have been trying to catch your attention, but all of a sudden, they may not care anymore.

Ever wondered what went wrong?

How to look good with trying to get someone’s attention

The first exchange of glances may stir a lot of emotions, but to keep someone’s interest in you piqued, you need to look good and rouse their interest in you all along the way.

Here are 10 tips on how to look good while catching someone’s eye for the first time.

#1 Appear like you have a life. Appear busy or seem occupied. You may have caught someone’s fancy, but don’t ever make it seem like you have nothing better to do than stare at that person. By staring constantly without taking a breather, you’d either appear like a loser or creep this person out in no time.

#2 Get the right eye contact going. Eye contact is everything. It’s the first step to all good things, especially in love and relationships. If you want to look good in someone else’s eyes, you need to learn the art of flirting with your eyes. Sneak a glance now and then, and always make the other person want more. [Read: 10 eye contact flirting tips]

#3 Don’t be by yourself unless you have no choice. It’s easier to look good when you’re in a big group. It’s easier to get attention. It’s easier to appear busy. And it’s definitely easier to seem like you’re the center of attention.

You may assume it’s easier to get attention by sitting away from your group, but in reality, sitting with a few friends always brings more attention, especially from the opposite sex. But if you’re out with a few friends who make you look bad, well, you’d be better off sitting by yourself.

#4 Show off your best assets. Do you think you have great legs or perfect shoulders? Show it off? Sit in a manner that would accentuate your best assets to this person. Of course, you do have to be discreet about it though.

#5 Blush or look embarrassed when your eyes meet. No matter how obvious the staring game and the stolen glances may be, show your awkwardness when your eyes meet. The air of nervousness always makes romance so much more beautiful and sweet.

#6 Get your friends involved. This is an easy way to make things more awkward between both of you. Let your friends stare at this person and nudge you now and then or make a big deal about the flirty game. By doing that, the whole staring game would become more obvious and impossible to overlook by either of you.

In several cases, stolen glances just die out within a few minutes when the novelty wears off. But by involving your friends, you can keep the game going on for a lot longer.

#8 Feel sexy about yourself. Unless you love yourself and find yourself attractive, no one else in the whole world will ever find you attractive. Be confident and feel good about yourself. If you catch someone staring at you, stare back at them and feel good about yourself. The fact that someone cute is trying to catch your attention instead of anyone else in the room does mean something, don’t you think?

#9 Don’t appear nervous or fidgety. No one likes nervous Nelly. A fidgety person puts anyone off. Sit back comfortably and just have fun with the stolen glances. You really don’t have to do anything about it if you’re not ready to take the next step yet. You can play with things around you to pretend like you’re bored, but don’t reveal your nervousness for anyone to see. [Read: 10 biggest dating turn offs]

#7 Good posture. Always sit upright or stand tall with a good posture when you’re trying to get attention. It makes you look good. If you’re a girl, a coy posture can work wonders. If you’re a guy, a dominant posture will always work in your favor.

#10 Create opportunities for each other. If both of you have been exchanging glances with each other, don’t let it go in vain by chickening out before interacting with each other. There’s not much a guy can do here other than make a move and talk to the girl. [Read: Do girls like shy guys who don't make the first move?]

But if you’re the girl, give the guy an opportunity to talk to you by excusing yourself from your friends when you think he’s ready to talk to you. Walk past him and discreetly smile at him as you step out or go to the ladies room. It’ll be his cue to get up and talk to you.

Eye contact may be the first of many good things. But you still need to get these 10 tips on how to look good right if you want to get someone’s attention and make them like you at first sight.

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Dealing with your Man’s Flirty Friend

Does your boyfriend have a girl pal who just can’t keep her hands off him? Find out how to deal with your man’s flirty friend and keep her away.

Is your boyfriend’s best friend a girl?

Click here to read the introduction and understand what really goes on in his girl best friend’s mind in does your boyfriend have a girl best friend?

Getting used to the fact that your boyfriend has a girl best friend is hard enough.

But having to deal with your man’s flirty friend is just annoyingly frustrating, especially if your boyfriend doesn't really do anything to stop his friend from pawing him.

If you’re having a hard time getting the message through your man’s thick skull, here are a few tried and tested ways to handle your man’s flirty friend and keep her away.

Are you waiting for the flirty friend to leave?

You may have just sat there, waiting for the bad tidings to pass, and the sun to take a nice peek out of the gloomy clouds, and evaporate this monster of a friend away from his life.

But you know it, the way things are shaping up, you don’t ever think it will happen. So what do you do? Well, you should go to war!

Ready your battle stations and prepare your ammo and weapons. Locate the weakest section and drop your entire stock of nukes and breach the barrier! You don’t dig, girlie? No worries.

What I mean is that you need to fight a war to win it, and to win it, you need to strategy and have a plan of action. You want to know your greatest strength? It’s the fact that he’s your man and not her man! So why on earth do you have to bob quietly like a rubber duck and be bothered by this friend of his?

Since you know for sure that there’s no way a straight talk with your man will help you, try going the other way around. The first step is to make your man feel really awkward around her. It’s not that he doesn't feel it already, but the only issue is that he likes the sexual awkwardness. But just give him an opportunity to realize how uncomfortable things can get when she comes around and you can bring the ball into your court. Now really, go all out and go to war.

Adding your man to her crush list

The next time she kisses him like a woodpecker or does something just as uncomfortable, use it to your advantage. After this slutty friend of his leaves the both of you alone and goes away, take a trip to the ladies room, especially after a few other girls go in. Come back with a sad face, and tell him that you overheard the girls in the ladies room talking about your man being such a perverted two timer, who didn't care about your feelings.

Just tell him that you feels awkward when other girls speak like this all the time. Basically, instead of straight out ranting, prick his little heart with guilt.

Let him know that all your friends think that he has a big crush on that girl pal of his, because of the way he tries making out with that girl all the time! He may object and try to retaliate, but just lay off it by saying it’s alright, and that you’re not hurt anyway. And trust me, he will try doing something about it because all men always want all women in the world to think highly of them. So if your friends and other women around think he’s annoying, he’ll do whatever it takes to make them think highly of him.

Sneak a bit of info to him and tell him that you’re sure his friend has a crush on him. And how do you know that? Obviously, you’re a girl and you know it by the way she behaves around him.

Mention it as a compliment, but make him feel uncomfortable by asking things like how he would feel if your best male friend would try fondling you all the time? But hit your man with the fact that this friend of his has more than just ‘friendship’ written over her when it comes to him.

Beating the bitch

Don’t you just wish you could clobber her and hurt her really bad? You can, but it’s better done where it hurts. Your man is just that, he’s your man. So the next time she comes around, just snuggle up to him closer and compliment him about a few things he did recently, things only you know about.

Trust me, it’s worth it to see that look on his face after you’re done talking with another hottie. Or you could also get real friendly and touchy-feely with another male friend of yours when you bump in to him. If he does mention anything like you trying to get back at him, just innocently tell him that he seemed to be having such a good time with her, that you really didn't think he’d be bothered.

These moves are guaranteed to have a positive effect for you, especially if you instantly lose your icy self each time his slutty friend goes away.

He may have a hard time figuring it out with his pea sized brain, but eventually he’d realize that your icy split personality shows up only when he behaves like he’s in a petting zoo around that little bitch friend of his.

Another really important thing you should know here, never ever let him know that you’re doing all this to get back at him even if things get better for you later. He may just tell his ‘best’ friend all about it. And I don’t think you’d be able take his friendly confessions very well.

Winning the game

She may be grinning widely and floating on a high each time she gets to know through your boyfriend that you've thrown a tantrum over her. But once she sees that her friendly guy is actually making a strong effort to stay away from her (which is mostly because he gets jealous when you speak to another hottie or pet your male pals), she would go mad!

There she was, having your man wrapped around her finger all this time, and now she would know she’s losing her grip on him.

What can I say, I guess it’s time for you to gloat in happiness. Be extra-friendly to her, and grin a giddily happy smile each time he’s wrapped in your arms instead of hers. Never ever show your frustrations out in front of her. That would just make her happy. Instead, use her ploy on another guy, in person or on phone, when your man and his flirty friend are together. There’s no chance of losing a game when you get the jealousy in your man aroused!

Each time she holds your guy’s hand, just pat it away and tell her jokingly, “hey, do you have a crush on him?” or smile and say something like “I hope you don’t hate me, you seem to have such a big crush on my man”, and laugh out loud!

She wouldn't know what to say, especially when you make it sound like a joke. Your man may find it funny, but she’d know what you’re up to. Let her know that you know her game, and let her hate you because you’re winning. Getting her to hate you may be hard, but once you do, boy, the world can seem oh-so-nice!

You could be on a winning streak, but make sure you've still got a firm hold on your man, or he may just stray again. She is his friend, you know.

It’s not so easy to just split them up, but as long as you can get him to behave, who cares. And as long as her little heart is burning with frustration, the world is such a pretty place, isn't it?

But then again, if you’re having a hard time dealing with his girl best friend, perhaps, you should consider seeing someone else or try having a happy relationship with a guy who isn't attached at the hip to his girl best friend.

[Read: Signs of an annoying boyfriend]

[Read: Is he really the one for you?]

But even if your man does have a girl best friend, you do know what to do right? Get back at her and do it well. After all, dealing with your man’s flirty friend can be so much fun when you’re winning!

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Why Are Women So Fickle in Love?

Do women create confusions in their love lives or is the world just unjust to them? Jake Butler shares his opinion on why women are so fickle in love.

Through many years of my dating life, if there’s one thing I've noticed more often than others, it’s how fickle women in love are.

Now it’s not just my life I’m talking about, it’s all around me.

Women love fairy tales, chick flicks and romance in their lives. But yet, they create such messy Gordian knots of love that they end up hurting others and themselves along the way.

Men and their love life

Looking into a man’s mind, he doesn't really ask for much.

Even the greatest of guys are rather happy with their relationship. They spend evenings and weekends together with their girlfriend, and life is just perfect.

If there’s ever a circumstance of infidelity among men, in almost all cases, men cheat for two reasons.

They cheat using their bigger head, when they’re frustrated with their girlfriend for some reason or the other.

Or they cheat with their little head when they meet an attractive woman and the chemistry is intense.

It’s easy to understand a man’s mind. We like keeping it simple and easy. Men may not be gifted with the complex creative dimensions in love that women can boast of, but men are pretty content with what goes on in their mind.

And that makes it really easy for men to get caught with their pants around their ankles. All because men are too darn predictable.

Women, on the other hand, are a lot more complex to understand and predict. But their lives are way more complicated anyways!

Why are women so fickle in love?

I was in college when I got into a serious relationship for the first time. The relationship lasted about a year, but that ride of love was the craziest I've even been in, and I've still not been able to understand that relationship.

She was my first girlfriend and I was her first boyfriend. We started dating and exploring all that love had to offer within the first few months. We were happy, until she met a new group of friends. Soon she started partying hard, would avoid me more often, and would spend more time with her new friends and other new guys she would meet.

A few months later, she started getting cranky and moody, would party all night long with her new friends and pretty much behave like a confused idiot the next day!

One day, she would kiss me tenderly and say I’m the nicest guy on earth and she’s lucky to have me. Another day, she would treat me indifferently. And on some other days, she’d tell me she needs to stay away from me because she was going through some crap in her life. [Read: What to do when you like a friend]

Whew! I just couldn’t understand what the heck was up with her. Eventually, we ended up breaking up and making up every other day. She would break up with me, and come running back into my arms a few days later saying how much she needed me and how wrong she was to let me go. But all said and done, a confusing year later, I had to walk away for good. She was causing more damage to me than good. [Read:How to know if it is love or lust]

She pursued me on and off for a few months, but I knew the cycle pretty well to fall back into that trap of confusions. But to this day, I can’t understand why she just couldn't make up her mind about what kind of a life she really wanted! I mean, really, if she really wants to party and meet new guys and get Ziggy with them, stick to your plan and leave me out of your life!

Was that immaturity or was that a woman’s complex love brain going into overdrive?

Do women think of love as an all-you-can-eat buffet?

Now I’m not generalizing that all women are fickle in love. But there are a lot more fickle-in-love women out there than there are men who think along those lines. And any smooth talking man who gets the attention of women can vouch for this. And a smart Casanova knows how easy it is to play to a woman’s emotions and trick her into an easy fling!

It’s far easier to convince a woman that she’s in a bad relationship than it is to convince a man of the same. Men listen to their own feelings, women listen to everything else but their feelings. They listen to other people’s feelings.

Tell a girl she deserves someone better than her boyfriend, and she’ll think about it. Tell a guy he deserves someone better than his girlfriend, and he’ll just nod his head and forget about it!

The main problem, at least from my perspective, is that women are actually far more shallow when it comes to love than men. Women like the attention and care that their boyfriend gives them. And as the months or years pass, and some other charming smooth talker gives them a little more attention and adds a few long phone conversations and extravagant gifts into the recipe, they can’t help but feel a surge of affection towards this new guy who makes them feel all warm, fuzzy and happy inside. [Read: Flirty text messages]

They like having their steady boyfriend, but at the same time, they really don’t want to miss out on the affection and the attention of the new charming guy! Now, several women may deny this, but put them in a similar situation and they’ll surprise themselves. Women are suckers for affection. If any smooth guy knows how to strike when the iron is hot, it’s pretty hard for a girl to resist his charm.

Really, if that isn't an all-you-can-eat buffet kind of love, what is?

Are women more prone to having affairs than men?

Women don’t like giving a name to these kinds of special relationships. They recognize the fuzzy feelings, the sexual thoughts in bed, and the affection they feel for someone else, but they’ll never give this strange relationship a real name. By calling it an affair, they’re accepting that they’re cheating, either emotionally or physically. And they would never want to stoop that low. Instead, it’s so much simpler to just have a happy time with their own boyfriend and have a few special moments with someone else too, without worrying about what to call the relationship.

Fickle love and the confusions

Most women may not realize this, but you can’t really be in love with two people or try to hog the affection of two men, unless you’re in a happy menage a trios.

If you’re being secretive about it, at some point, you’re going to start comparing them with each other. And that starts all the confusions and the pain. And the worst part of all this, your partner will experience the same pain because you can’t make up your mind, and he can’t understand why you’re being so moody. [Read: Is he the one for you?]

And even when you make up your mind and decide that one man is better and more affectionate than the other, a week later or after a little fight, you’re bound to change your mind again. And at other times, you may have confusing conflicts every few hours. So why not just make up your mind and stick to it “for better or for worse”?

Is it a woman’s fault?

Now we can’t entirely blame women for this behavior. I just think it’s a trait in women that just can’t change. They always think they deserve better than the guy they’re with at any point of time. They assume they’re way better and can get any better guy if they ever wanted, and when a presumably better guy walks into their lives and showers them with affection, their instincts kick in and it reassures them that they deserve better than their own boyfriend.

So why are women so fickle in love? Perhaps, women do love a lot of drama in their lives. And being fickle in love is just one small part of the drama they constantly crave for that much needed satisfying and troubled sleep at night.

The author, Jake Butler, is a serial dater and chivalrous stealer of girlfriends, and looks forward to changing his ways when he meets a woman who can incomparably be happy with him. Which he claims, will never happen!

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