There are times when age difference in relationships really matter and other times when it really doesn't. Find out if both of you are age compatible.
We build our entire life with plans and checklists.
We do the same with love too.
But almost all the time, we realize too late that love is blind.
You may have a list of traits and things you want in a partner, but you’d end up falling for someone else who’s completely different.
So does that mean your partner’s wrong for you?
It definitely doesn't.
But with the unpredictability of love comes the uncertainty of confusing emotions.
One of the biggest confusions with love that most of us have is the age difference aspect that all of us make such a big deal about.
Does age difference in relationships matter?
Sometimes, the age difference between two lovers makes no difference.
But almost all the time, age difference can play a big role in the success of a relationship.
If you’re dating someone who’s several years older or younger than you, here are a few things you need to give a thought about.
And once you've pondered over these few details, there’s a good chance you’ll know if your love can survive the odds.
How old are you today?
How old are you and your partner today? Relationships are affected by time in phases, and what can seem blissful at one stage can make you panic at another.
If both of you are younger and in your teens or early twenties, even a few years of age difference can have a huge impact on the relationship. But as you enter your thirties or forties, the worry about the difference in age starts to diminish, only to resurface again in the fifties and the sixties.
Age difference in relationships for a teenager
Youth is wasted on the young, true, but it’s still an experience that’s cherished for a lifetime. Live your youth to the fullest and really, live like a teenager.
If you’re a teenager, don’t even consider dating an older person. It’s just not worth it. Don’t lose your precious teen years trying to pretend to be a mature adult just because you’re dating one. Older men and women know how to snag someone in their teens because they already know how to impress and draw a younger teen that’s always looking for attention. Almost always, someone who’s in their late twenties may want to date you only to take advantage of your naivety and innocence.
A word to the older men and women who want to date young teens, don’t rob someone else of their youth for your happiness even if they’re an easy catch. It’s selfish and can change a teenager’s life forever.
Difference in age and compatibility in relationships
For a teenager, it may be an obvious answer. But once you’re past your teens, every relationship that involves a significant age difference is a confusing complication. There are so many factors that test your compatibility that you really have to weigh your options and think twice about any kind of relationship you get into, let alone relationships with an age difference.
But if you find yourself tossing and turning in your bed over the age difference in your relationship, here are a few compatibility testers that can help you clear your mind.
Emotional maturity
Emotional maturity is the biggest hurdle in relationships with an age difference. It can play a huge part in deciding your fate as a couple. Younger lovers are almost always more restless, impatient and enthusiastic, while the older lovers are calmer and patient. How is it in your relationship? Is the difference in emotional maturity and experience driving a wedge in the romance?
Each other’s habits and interests
Someone born in the seventies or before, and another person born in the eighties or nineties can seem similar on the outside. But once both of you live together, you’d start to notice a huge difference in personal behavior and even expectations of their partners.
Do you work out every morning while your partner likes sleeping late? Are you an early sleeper while your partner stays awake till dawn? Do you prefer PB & J for breakfast while your partner likes a nutritious breakfast with calculated calories? Or is Lady Gaga on your playlist while your partner prefers Pearl Jam?
While these little details can seem cute at first, it can create serious differences that can end a relationship once you’re both past the infatuation.
Insecurities and age
Nobody likes aging, and the older person in the relationship definitely doesn't. When you do see your partner having a happy conversation with someone their own age, you may find yourself wondering if your partner connects better emotionally with someone their own age instead of you. Have you ever felt that? What are you going to do about it?
The additional baggage
Are you divorced with two kids? Does your partner have a past that has its own baggage? The problems of dating someone way older always means there’s an additional baggage involved in some form or the other. Can either of you deal with that?
Family planning
Do both of you have the same interests and wants out of life. A decade can make a big difference in the way a person sees life and creates expectations out of it. Do you want kids? Is your partner uninterested in having kids? These may seem like little nagging details now, but very soon, you’ll see that these kinds of details that involve wants and interests actually define your life and who you are.
Growing old together
Can you cope with the difference as both of you grow older? Would you be frustrated because of the different energy levels? If you’re 33 and your partner’s 48 years old, it may seem like nothing. But when you’re going to be 48 years old, your partner would be in retirement. Ever gave that a thought?
Does the age difference bother you?
Have you been pondering over the age difference and what other people and friends may think? Does it bother you that the ignorant staff in the supermarket thought you’re a parent and child, and not a romantic couple?
The age difference in the relationship would matter only if it matters to you. You’d be bothered by it only if it bothers you deep inside. If you’re uncomfortable dating someone who’s outside your age group, then don’t date the person. It’s not worth the trouble. At the end of the day, you need to be comfortable in your partner’s arms, whether you’re at home or at a party. If glances and conversations of other people bother you, could you ever just be happy?
How much can you sacrifice for love?
Relationships need work, whether they have an age difference or otherwise. And it’s in your own hands to make something work. Relationships involve a few sacrifices on both sides.
You now know what it takes to make a relationship with an age difference work. So how much can you really sacrifice for love and where do you intend to draw the line?
At the end of the day, age difference in relationships is all in the head. If you can’t learn to overcome your doubts, it’s better to stay out of it.
Shubham Gupta
